Well, you’ve been all geared up for a jolly good time, haven’t you? Prepped and primed like a panto dame before the curtain call. But hold onto your knickers, darling, because those plans you’ve been prancing about are about to be put on the back burner. Yes, that’s right, postponed like a bad date with a bloke who’s got more hair on his back than on his head! You and your chums are sure to feel about as deflated as a helium balloon three weeks after the party. You’ll be pining for the good old days, for life as it was before… but really, darling, what the bloody hell was ‘normal’ anyway? Was it ever more than a setting on the washing machine? Now for your lucky charm: a rabbit’s foot. I mean, it wasn’t very lucky for the rabbit, was it? But hey, beggars can’t be choosers. And remember: a rabbit’s foot is perfect for rubbing, but if you start hearing thumping noises, it might be time to leg it!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!