Your whimsical brain-farts might be as useful as a chocolate teapot if you don’t push them over the finish line, love. Put your back into it and get the bloody job done. Getting stuck into a bit of social tomfoolery with your mates or the local rabble will slap you right on centre stage. Even if you’re about as successful as a one-legged man in a bum-kicking contest, at least you’re shovelling the foundation for future triumphs, you poor sod. Your lucky phrase, dear: “Fortune favours the bold… and the foolish.” Stick that on a mug and sip it with your morning tea. It’s about as useful as a cat flap in an elephant house, but it’ll make you chuckle.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!