A chance to stick your nose into a subject that’s been tickling your pickle for donkey’s years is about to show up. You’ll be as eager as a fox in a chicken coop, mate. Once you’ve got this skill under your belt, it’ll open doors wider than a randy postman on Valentine’s Day. Proper cushy jobs will be falling into your lap, just like crumbs on a fat bloke’s belly. You can see the perks, and you’ll graft harder than a one-legged man at a bum-kicking contest to get those posh certificates. Lucky charm for you, sunshine: A rubber duck. Why? Because when life gets as rough as a badger’s arse, you’ve got to remember to keep floating and don’t let the water seep in, even if you do look a bit daft.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!