Blimey, you’ve been clinging onto that dead-end relationship like a barnacle to a rusty ship. Pondering ’bout what larks you could’ve done to make ’em happy is sucking the life outta ya quicker than a vampire in a blood bank! But fear not, love, now’s your moment to kick-start a romance or a chumship that’s more satisfying than a full English on a Sunday mornin’. So, put your big girl knickers on and let yourself move on, there’s more fish in the sea – just remember to check for crabs! Your lucky charm this week is a pair of oversized knickers. Wear ’em with pride and remember, they’re not only a great laugh but also a handy parachute in emergencies. Now that’s what I call a lucky escape!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!