In a language as gentle as a London cabbie, brace yourself, love. Be a bit cagey when you’re about to spout some gossip, like a bloke who’s had one too many at the pub. Despite your gut feeling about someone, chances are the juicy titbit you’ve heard is as real as a royal’s social media account. Keep your chin up with the office lot, don’t want them thinking you’re as loyal as a cat in a sardine factory, do ya? And here’s your lucky charm: Always carry around a rubber duck. While it won’t help you float in a flood, it might just get you out of an awkward conversation at the water cooler.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!