Blimey, your mission now, ya cheeky monkey, is to chuck all your vim and vigour at whatever tickles your fancy. You may be grafting your socks off at the mo, and feeling like you’ve got naff all to show for it, but keep calm and carry on. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was your success, so don’t faff about. Your efforts, though they might seem as fruitful as a chocolate teapot right now, will, in the long run, have you laughing all the way to the bank. So keep buggering on, even if your patience is thinner than a cucumber sandwich and your bank account’s looking as cheerful as a funeral in the rain. By the way, your lucky number is 7. Not because it’s magical or anything, just because it’s one more than 6 and one less than 8, and that in itself is a right giggle, innit?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!