Listen up, you’ve got more issues than Vogue needing your immediate attention, and by immediate, I mean yesterday. You’re about as good at procrastinating as a sloth on tranquilisers, and it’s stopping you from getting a wink of beauty sleep. Not that it’s doing much good, mind you. So, pull up those big girl knickers and tick a few bits and bobs off that ‘to-do’ list – it’s longer than the Queen’s grocery receipt. Once you’ve done that, the rest of your week will slide by smoother than a greased up weasel. Now, love, your lucky charm this week is a rubber duck. Yes, you heard me right, a rubber duck. Don’t ask why, some things are better left unexplained. Just remember, if you take it in the bath with you, it’ll see more action than you have in months.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!