You’re ripe and ready to snatch life by the bollocks, have a right knees-up with your chums, and forget about the world’s woes. But don’t get too carried away, mate. ‘Cause that bloody nuisance called ‘reality’ might pop round for a cuppa, especially when it’s about your gaff and dosh. The trick is to take it step by step, like a sloshed bloke trying not to tumble down the stairs after a heavy night at the pub. And here’s a little nugget for ya: your lucky colour is green. So, maybe try wearing your grass-stained football shorts to your next business meeting. It might not improve your negotiation skills, but at least you’ll give everyone a good laugh.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!