Blimey, seems one of your chums or flatmates is throwin’ a wobbler, stuck in a bit of a lonesome funk. They’ll swear on their nan’s life they ain’t wallowing in misery, but it’s as obvious as a slap in the face with a wet kipper. You’ve always had the gift of the gab to see right through their codswallop, and when you sniff out they’re in need of a pick-me-up, you’re just the right berk for the job. And if you’re in need of a bit of luck, try this on for size: your lucky number is 13. Yeah, I know, about as lucky as a three-legged cat in a dog race. But who knows, maybe it’ll drag you out of that pit of despair you call your life. No promises, though.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!