You’re hammering away like a ferret in a tube sock, laying the foundation for monumental cock-ups and laughable achievements on all frontiers. Your success, if we can call it that, is expanding your confidence like a souffle in an oven, and you’re grinning like a Cheshire cat who’s just discovered catnip, naively excited about this pie-in-the-sky future you reckon awaits you. Now, here’s a lucky charm for you: a horseshoe. You might think it’s to bring you luck, sweetheart, but actually, I recommend you wear it round your neck. It might just knock some sense into you every time you bend over!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!