You’ve got to suck it up, buttercup, and bow down to those pompous prats who think they’re the bee’s knees. It’s going to stick in your craw like a dodgy kebab from last night’s bender, but keep a lid on it, love. Any sign of a ticked off mug and you’ll be up the Khyber. This whole mess is as temporary as a celebrity marriage, so slap on a fake smile, act like you’re at the queen’s garden party, and it’ll be over before you can say ‘Bob’s your uncle’. For a bit of a lark, your lucky charm this week is a mouldy crumpet. Yes, you heard it right! The mouldier, the luckier. So, keep one under your pillow and you’ll be rolling in luck, like a pig in muck. Just don’t blame me when the missus kicks you out of the bed for it stinking worse than a public loo!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!