Despite having your ducks in a row with the precision of a Swiss watchmaker, it seems the universe is still chuckling at your plans, darling. It’s like arranging an afternoon tea with the Queen and then discovering all she’s got in the pantry is a tin of spam. You’ve been so engrossed in your meticulous arrangements that you’ve completely disregarded the fact that some of the other participants would rather have a colonoscopy than be part of your master plan. Lucky phrase for the day: “It’s raining cats and dogs, but at least it’s not raining idiots.” A little reminder that no matter how bad things get, they could always be worse. And that’s funny because it’s usually raining idiots, isn’t it?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!