You and your clan are up to your armpits in a muddle, but it’s nothing you can’t fix with a bit of elbow grease. Don’t let some daft mug muck things up even more. Ignore the ‘helpful’ prattle from the peanut gallery and stick to the basics. Reflect on the long and winding road that’s landed you in this pickle and suddenly, it’ll be as clear as a bell-end at a nudist beach. Lucky charm: A horseshoe. Stick it up your backside for all the good it’ll do…just remember to remove it before you sit down!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!