Before you start flapping your gums, take a tick to think, unless you fancy being the star of ‘Humiliation: the Musical’. There’s a bit of a tiff brewing with a fossil of a relative, and you’re at risk of going all Shakespearean in your attempts to prove you’re not as daft as you look. Why the hell are you shouting, anyway? Do you get a kick out of sounding like a fishwife at a market? Lucky tip: If you’re gonna make a spectacle of yourself, do it in style. Wear neon green – it’s your lucky colour, love. And hey, it might just distract from your nonsense!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!