Listen up darling, there’s some eager beaver out there, breaking a sweat trying to butter you up like a Sunday roast. Do me a favour, don’t go popping their bubble with any snippy remarks, shower them with confetti compliments instead. Brace yourself for a soap opera revelation, those sneaky sods playing dirty will get their knickers in a twist. Remember, your gut feeling is like your very own crystal ball, so embrace your inner Mystic Meg. Your lucky charm is a pair of knickers. Why, you ask? Because when you’re in a tight spot, it’s always handy to have a spare pair, isn’t it?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!