The stars are having a right old giggle at your expense this week. You’re about to get a sniff of an opportunity that looks as tempting as a gin and tonic on a Friday night. But hold your horses, mate, it might not be the golden goose you reckon it is. So don’t rush in like a bull in a china shop, dash it. Take a step back, have a butcher’s at the fine print and give it a ponder. In a few sips of the moon, you’ll know if it’s worth chasing like a one-legged man in an arse-kicking competition or not. And here’s a cheeky little nugget for you. Your lucky phrase is, “It’s not me, it’s you”. So go on, use it as an excuse next time you’re in a sticky wicket. It’ll be funnier than a fart in a space suit, I promise.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!