You may be a bit slow on the uptake, darling, but eventually, you’ll cotton on that the cantankerous sod who’s been bugging you isn’t trying to scare the living daylights out of you. They’re just a little rough around the edges, like a hedgehog wearing a cactus for a hat. So, quit your dithering, pull up your big boy trousers, and start a natter with them. Not one of those shallow, “nice weather we’re having” chit-chats. Nah, a proper heart-to-heart, get down to the nitty-gritty kind of gab. You’d be gobsmacked at the opportunity that could arise from it – something that might wind up benefiting both of you. And wouldn’t that be a blinder? As for your lucky charm, it’s a rubber chicken. Why? Because life’s a laugh, darling, and you’ve got to squeeze out every chuckle you can – even if it means squeezing a rubber chicken! So, keep it handy and remember: when life gives you a rubber chicken, squeeze it!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!