That cockamamie scheme of yours is about as likely to fly as a lead balloon, innit? Keep your loaf on, sunshine, and don’t get too pie-eyed over these new-fangled ideas, ‘cos they might just blow up in your boat race. You’re more likely to get a tan from a torchlight than make this work in the long run. So, keep your peepers on the cold, hard facts and don’t get your knickers in a twist. And here’s a right bobby dazzler for you: the lucky number for you today is none other than thirteen. How’s that for a kick in the knackers? But remember, thirteen can also be your lucky escape if you play your cards right. Might help you dodge a bullet with that hare-brained scheme of yours.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!