You’re harbouring a wee twinge of guilt, aren’t you? You’ve not managed to be there for your chum as much as you would’ve liked. But let’s put the kettle on and spill some tea, they’ve been clinging onto you like a koala bear in a eucalyptus tree. It’s about time for a chinwag that nudges them towards standing on their own two feet, and not expecting you to carry them like a bloody kangaroo with a joey in its pouch. Lucky charm: A kangaroo keyring. Yes, you read it right. It’s a reminder for you to hop away from unnecessary burdens, mate. Plus, it’s a laugh to tell people you’ve got a marsupial in your pocket.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!