Listen here, sunshine, don’t think you can just flutter those eyelashes and people will fall at your feet. If you’re after a favour, don’t beat around the bush, be a grown-up and ask for it. People will respect you for not acting like a dodgy car salesman. Now, I won’t lie, your journey forward is going to be slower than a snail on Valium and about as exciting as a wet weekend in Wigan, but you’re stubborn as a mule and will see it through to the bitter end, no matter how dull it gets. Oh, and your lucky item is a potato. Why? Well, if you’re going to act like a couch potato all day, you might as well have the real thing as a mascot.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!