You might feel like you’ve landed in a dodgy episode of The Twilight Zone, what with all these subtle changes around you, making you feel like a vegan in a butcher’s shop. Also, there’s a chance that some old agreement is about to go tits up, leaving you as satisfied as a cat in a bathtub. Brilliant, innit? And what’s with this sudden relocation, eh? You’ll be yapping away with some random blokes and birds you’d normally avoid like a fart in a lift. So keep those peepers peeled, ain’t gonna be no regular tea party, this. Now, for your lucky charm: it’s a four-leaf clover. Yes, I know it sounds as useful as a chocolate teapot, but trust me on this one. It’s got as much chance of bringing you luck as a blind squirrel finding a nut, but hey, who are we to judge the mysteries of the cosmos?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!