Today’s gonna be as dodgy as a three quid note when it comes to adhering to your usual humdrum routine. Keep a beady eye on the ankle biters in your tribe because they’re more susceptible to a cock-up than a politician in a brothel. Expect some curveballs in your social shindig plans, including invites that’ll pop up faster than a ferret in a trouser leg. Your lucky charm today is as useful as a chocolate teapot – it’s a rabbit’s foot. Hope you’re not superstitious because it didn’t bring much luck to the rabbit, did it?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!