Oi, brace yourself. You’ve got a mate who’s as sensitive as a teacup at a bull fight. You’ve really put your foot in it, haven’t you? It’s like walking on eggshells, only you’re wearing bloody hobnailed boots. You’ll soon realise you need to be careful with your words, they’re sharper than a butcher’s knife. But don’t worry, it’ll all blow over soon enough, like a fart in the wind. Oh, and get this, you’ve got a chance coming up to blow your own trumpet, show off a bit about your job or your learning stuff. Grab it with both hands, mate, and don’t be afraid to shove it in people’s faces. You’re about as subtle as a sledgehammer anyway. And listen, you know that person you’ve been falling out with? The one you’ve been treating like a dog’s dinner? Time to swallow your pride and apologise. It’ll bring the peace back into the relationship faster than a curry goes through you. And here’s your lucky bit: your lucky number is 13. Yeah, I know, it’s supposed to be unlucky, but who gives a toss? It’s only a number, not a bloody death sentence. Crack on!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!