Your mates are proper badgering you to hit the town for a knees-up. Could be a right giggle, but don’t be a muppet – know your limits. If you fancy a tipple, sort out a safe ride home. You’re not bloody James Bond, you know – drinking and driving is not on the cards. Got a relative who’s a bit down in the dumps? Their gloom will rub off on you quicker than a curry stain on a white shirt. Lucky phrase of the day: “It’s better to be a smart-arse than a dumb-arse.” Use this when you’re trying to wriggle out of a sticky situation – it may not win you friends, but at least you’ll get a laugh.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!