Well, listen here love, don’t just sit on your arse, gallivanting off in your head to fairyland, while the world spins on without you. You’ve got duties to attend to, you lazy git. Spending your days in cloud cuckoo land, you’ll end up in a right pickle. Someone’s gonna be right miffed when they realise you’ve been about as useful as a chocolate teapot, forgetting all about that pledge you made. And your lucky tip of the day? A penny for your thoughts is about all they’re worth, love. So maybe start collecting them, you might just make enough for a brew.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!