Blimey, if you’ve noticed your housemate or blood relative sulking around like a dog that’s lost its favourite chew toy, it’s about bloody time you sorted it out, innit? Now, I’m not suggesting you become Mother Teresa or anything, but a quick jaunt out or a short break from this madhouse might just do the trick. If they’re further away than the corner chippy, then a soppy card or a natter on the blower might make a difference. Or it might not. Who knows? Either way, it’s better than listening to them moan on like a broken record, right? And don’t forget your lucky item – a spork. Yes, you read that right, a spork. Why? Because it’s as useful and as misunderstood as you are, that’s why. And remember, as they say, “A spork in the hand is worth two in the bush”. I’m not entirely sure who “they” are or what they mean by that, but it sounds like good advice.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!