Well, well, well, ain’t it a right old dog’s dinner among your gaggle of pals. It’s more tense than a cat at a greyhound meet. One of your lot’s been flapping their gums, causing more friction than a cheap pair of Primark undies. They’ve said their sorries, but the rest of your crew are acting more frosty than a snowman’s knackers. Ain’t a blooming thing you can do about it, mate. Your lucky charm? A cat’s whisker. Why? Because even in the middle of this kerfuffle, you’re still smoother than a cashmere codpiece.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!