Blimey, weren’t expecting this were ya? Like a dog in a darts game, you’re getting all tangled up in the local gossip, aren’t ya? Your mates, them nosey parkers next door, and your tribe of kinfolk are all ears, waiting for your pearls of wisdom on the next bright spark idea. Now, don’t be a plonker, make sure your notions are as cheap as chips and as sound as a pound. Oh, and here’s a lucky phrase for you: “Every cloud has a silver lining.” Just remember, if that cloud happens to be your Aunt Mildred’s cooking, the silver lining might just be a case of food poisoning.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!