Blimey, your pocket is bleeding brass faster than a one-legged man in a bum-kicking contest and all for the sake of charity! I haven’t seen someone throw money around like this since the Royal Mint had a sale on! Even worse, some cheeky git is taking you for a ride, showing gratitude in the same way a seagull thanks you for your chips – by crapping on your parade. Maybe you’ve got your goggles on backwards, mate, paying attention to the wrong bloke and ignoring the ones who really deserve your efforts. Lucky phrase for you: “A penny saved is a penny earned.” Makes sense, unless you’re throwing them at ungrateful sods. Then it’s just a penny wasted, innit?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!