Blimey, ain’t you the charmer! Folks are all over you like a cheap suit, thinking you’re the dog’s bollocks and all. Don’t act all gobsmacked when your mates and office drones come a-knocking, begging for a bit of your magic touch. You’ve got the empathy of a weepy rom-com, and that’s got them all hot under the collar, expecting you to come to their rescue. So go on, lend a hand, but remember not to let the buggers take the mickey. Here’s a tip for ya, if you’re ever stuck in a pickle, just remember, “I’m not as think as you drunk I am.” It’s saved me from many a dodgy situation and could be your lucky charm too. Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it, you saucy minx!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!