Oi, you’re practically popping your corks with joy, you cheeky devil, and that’s all down to some saucy love gossip that’s got your knickers in a twist. It’s like all your wet dreams have decided to put on a show and dance the cha-cha right in front of your gobsmacked face. That little venture you were toying with? Well, it’s gone and blown your expectations clean out the water, hasn’t it? Why not throw caution to the wind and treat yourself to a pampering day at the spa, or better yet, sod off on a wild adventure? And mind you, by ‘spa’, I don’t mean a half-hour soak in your grotty bath with a rubber duck for company. And on another note, your lucky charm this week is a four-leaf clover. Yeah, I know it’s as cliche as a poodle in a Parisian handbag, but hey, if it can help you avoid stepping in dog poo, then it’s worth a shot, right?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!