Blimey, that office muppet you normally wouldn’t trust to sit the right way on a toilet is about to swan in and miraculously yank you out of a right old pickle. With a bit of luck, they won’t have jammed their head so far up their own posterior that they’ll actually be useful for once. You’ll be gobsmacked, I know, but try not to let your jaw hit the floor. You might even start seeing them in a new light, like one of those optical illusions where a duck suddenly becomes a rabbit. You’re starting to twig that there’s more to this office lark than endless cups of lukewarm tea and avoiding the boss’s halitosis. Your lucky charm for the day is a rubber duck. Why? Because why not? Everyone needs a bit of bathtime fun in their life, and who knows, it might distract you from the numpty in the cubicle next to you.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!