Right, listen up petal. If you’ve been grafting your arse off, it’s about time you got a pat on the back, innit? Don’t just stand there like a lemon thinking it’s naff to want a bit of praise for your blood, sweat and tears. And if some cheeky sod tries to pinch your thunder, don’t be a soft sod and let ’em. If you do, you’ll be waiting forever for your turn to shine, like a solar-powered torch in bloody Manchester. Now, your lucky charm for the day is a used teabag. Might seem a bit daft, but I reckon you could do with a strong cuppa to grow a pair. Plus, it’s a load more affordable than a four-leaf clover and a darn sight easier to find!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!