Alright, sunshine, you’ve got some heavy-duty chin wagging to do with the old family tree. Bit of a natter about the big stuff, the sort of chat that’d make anyone’s bum twitch. And you’re dreading it, ain’t ya? Scared they’ll react like a bunch of wailing banshees on a rollercoaster. But once you’ve spilled the beans and the dust settles, you’ll realise you’ve been as daft as a brush. All that worry for nought, like thinking you’ve left the oven on when you haven’t even cooked. Now, for your lucky charm: an empty bottle of gin. Just remember, it’s only unlucky if you remember drinking the whole thing yourself.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!