You’ve been sitting on your arse for yonks, pondering this, pondering that, like some sort of deep-thinking philosopher. You’ve finally pulled your finger out and made the big decision – feels like you’ve just dropped a massive load, doesn’t it? There’s always gonna be a few muppets who think you’ve mucked it up, but sod ’em. All that matters is you reckon it’s the dog’s bollocks. Lucky tip for ya: When life hands you lemons, make gin and tonic, and then wonder why life doesn’t hand you a good gin more often.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!