You’ve always been a proper Boy Scout, ain’t ya? Always got your knickers in a twist, preparing for the end of the world. And we’re not talking about a bottle of wine and a bit of Netflix, love. No, you’re all about keeping yourself grounded. Feet on the ground, head in the clouds, and all that jazz. But listen, darling, life’s about to give your arse a proper kick, sending you spiralling faster than a spin cycle on a Friday night. So, you might want to unclench, sweetheart, because your carefully laid plans are about to go tits up. It’s all unexpected, like finding out your nan’s run off with the milkman. But don’t worry, it’s just life’s way of saying, “Sod it, let’s have a laugh.” Now, for your lucky charm: I’d suggest a rubber duck. Why? Well, when your plans are going down the drain, at least you’ll have something that floats, love. Plus, it’s a right giggle to watch bobbing about in your bathtub gin.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!