Well, you’re shining brighter than a dog’s bollocks in moonlight, ain’t ya? Your infectious charm is propelling you through the day like a fart in a spacesuit. You’re a bloody ray of sunshine, and everyone else is just basking in your glow, lucky sods. Now, don’t be gobsmacked when that stubborn old git, a certain relative or your boss, finally crawls out of their arsehole long enough to apologise for that old cock-up they caused. Yes, they’re finally owning their monumental balls-up. It’s about bloody time! And as for your lucky charm, it’s a four-leaf clover. But don’t get too excited, it’s about as useful as a chocolate teapot. Still, you never know – may give you a laugh while you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!