Oi, you’re feeling a bit antsy, innit? Like a cat on a hot tin roof or a pensioner at a discount biscuit sale. There’s this niggling thing, personal or professional, dangling like a booger no one dares to flick. Everyone’s acting like they’ve gone and misplaced their spectacles when it’s hanging right there. But guess what, love? They’ve handed you the short straw, so it’s down to you to pull up your big girl knickers and sort it out. Here’s your lucky charm: a rubber duck. Keep it in your pocket. Why? Because when things go tits up, you can tell ’em, “At least I’ve got me duck!”

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!