Chuck a spanner in the works, don’t ya? You’re about as likely to invest wisely as a one-legged man at an arse-kicking contest. Use your noggin’ before throwing your dosh at some flash-in-the-pan scheme. Reckon you’re about to strike gold, do ya? More like digging your own grave, mate. Don’t get your knickers in a twist, pull out your Sherlock Holmes cap and sniff around a bit more, there’s always a safer bet to park your pennies. Venture into other alleyways, and who knows, you might stumble upon a pot of gold instead of a pile of shite. Lucky charm: A horseshoe. Why? Because with your financial acumen, you’d probably need all the luck you can get. Plus, it’s a cracking good paperweight.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!