You’re the sort who likes a good solid fact over a fairy tale, ain’t ya? Don’t like any of that wishy-washy, it-might-be-true-but-maybe-it’s-not nonsense. You’re all about the stone-cold, can’t-argue-with-it truth. But, blimey, things are going topsy-turvy, innit? Those rock-solid facts you’ve been clinging to are starting to look more like soggy biscuits dunked in a brew. It’s bloody unsettling, ain’t it? But don’t worry, you’ll soon see that this is the best thing since sliced bread. Your lucky phrase for the week is “Bob’s your uncle!” Now, I know you’re thinking, “What’s so lucky about that?” Well, trust me. You’ll know when Bob saves your skin at the last minute. Plus, it’s a proper giggle, innit?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!