A bloody medal for all your grafting is finally winging its way to you! Take a tick to bask in the glory of your own brilliance, you cheeky git. Some high and mighty suit’s gotten wind of your sweat and toil, and is poised to chuck a juicy bone your way. Round up your ragtag bunch of mates for a slap-up meal to mark this lark. Lucky charm: A gold-plated horseshoe. Let’s face it, with your track record, you’ll need all the luck you can get, you absolute plonker!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!