Darling, you won’t be able to patch up every disaster that lands on your doorstep, but you can sure as hell lend a sympathetic lughole and dish out a bit of the old TLC. Make sure your loved ones know they can count on you steadier than a chav on a benefits cheque. Stick around for those who need you – it’ll mean more to them than a royal pardon from the Queen, even if they’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon and can’t show it. Consider a lucky charm: A four-leaf clover – it’s about as useful as a chocolate teapot, but it might keep the pixies off your back.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!