You’ve got a bloody uncanny sixth sense for sizing up the riff-raff, don’t ya? You’re like a bleedin’ mind reader, nicking people’s thoughts before they’ve even had a chance to blurt ’em out. Contrary to all logic, this doesn’t send ’em running for the hills, but actually tickles their curiosity. Perhaps you’re just more of a Sherlock Holmes than they’d like to admit, eh? Now, for a bit of luck: “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”, or so they say. But in your case, you’d probably read the bird’s mind and predict it was about to poop. So, here’s a tip, use that lucky skill of yours to avoid getting shat on. Now ain’t that a hoot?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!