Brace yourself for a right royal palaver today! Some cheeky chappies are lobbing their barmy ideas about like they’re feeding pigeons in Trafalgar Square. While it’s all a bit of a giggle, it’s also going to frazzle your nerves like a cheap kettle in a student flat. Now, if you’re daft enough to sign up for one of these hare-brained schemes and make it a long-term thing, be ready for some aggro from a certain someone. They’ve been cooking up their own plans for you, probably involving less excitement and more EastEnders reruns. Don’t be surprised if they’re as miffed as a bulldog chewing a wasp when they find out. As for your lucky charm, it’s a four-leaf clover. But don’t be fooled. This isn’t about luck, it’s about survival. Remember, nothing says “I may be bonkers but I’m not stupid” quite like carrying a bit of Irish foliage.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!