You’ve got a right old pickle to deal with, haven’t you? Those people you’re listening to are spouting more nonsense than a drunk at closing time. You’re likely to face a few changes, mate, like a chameleon on a tartan rug, but don’t get your knickers in a twist. Once you’ve chewed it over, you’ll see these alterations are more beneficial than a winning lottery ticket. In the long run, you’ll be laughing like a fox with its tail caught in a chicken coop. And just for giggles, your lucky phrase is “Bob’s your uncle!” Use it when you’re in a pickle, it works better than a politician’s excuse. And remember, there’s more to life than just being outrageously funny, although I can’t think of what that might be at the moment!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!