Oi, listen up, sunshine. In 2025, you’ll be giving a right good squint at the idea of kick-starting your own business – you know, something a little less boring than your usual procrastinating self. You’ll be tip-toeing around it like a cat on a hot tin roof, and that’s a bit of a pickle for someone like you. You normally jump into things like a bulldog into a butcher’s shop. But this time, you gotta slow down, love. You can’t just wing it like you’re used to, throwing caution to the wind like a randy teenager at a house party. No, this time you have to think before you leap, which let’s face it, is about as common for you as a vegan in a steakhouse. Your lucky charm for this endeavour? A turtle. Yes, a bloody turtle, because God knows you need a constant reminder to slow the hell down. And for your mantra, try repeating this: “I’m not as daft as I look.” It might not be true, but it’s worth a punt, innit?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!