Right, listen here, sunshine! It’s high time you got your act together and focused on making “you” less of a nuisance. You and your other half are so in sync it’s getting creepy, like two peas in a pod, if the pod was a horror movie. You’re going to be feeling things, darlin’. Good, bad, probably indigestion – who knows? The day’s your oyster, but remember, oysters can give you food poisoning. Oh, and here’s your lucky charm: A four-leaf clover. But with your luck, it’s probably poison ivy.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!