Well, my darling, your gut feeling is about as reliable as a chocolate teapot in a heatwave, but bless you, you’ve got it and it’s your secret weapon. You’re so bloody intuitive, you’d think you’ve swallowed a crystal ball, managing to pick up on the emotional diarrhoea of every Tom, Dick and Harry within a five-mile radius. It’s like you’ve got a sixth sense, or you’re just incredibly nosey – jury’s still out on that one. But, my love, you’ve got to keep your eyes peeled like a hawk at a pigeon party, because there are some sly foxes out there who’d love nothing more than to manipulate you quicker than a contortionist at a circus. Then there’s the other half, whose plans are about as aligned with yours as a vegan at a butchers. You two are like chalk and cheese, or more accurately, a cat and a cucumber. For your lucky charm, I’m giving you the number 7. It’s the only number that hasn’t pissed me off this week. So, go on, have some fun with it, just don’t bet the house on it, you’re not that lucky!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!