Listen up, you jobless wonder, your mates might actually be worth something other than a pint at the pub. Shove your pride in the bin, pull a puppy dog face and ask your nearest and dearest to keep an eye out for a job that matches whatever it is you reckon you’re good at. Don’t just say “I want to work”, get specific – “I aspire to be the world’s best office tea maker”. It is high time that you put your talent for blabbering to good use. Now here’s your lucky bit of advice: “A bird in the hand makes a nasty mess”. So, don’t just settle for the first job that comes your way, even if it’s cleaning bird poo off car windshields. Here’s a tip: carry a rabbit’s foot for luck. Sure, it didn’t bring much luck to the rabbit, but who knows? It might work for you.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!