Alright, darling, it seems like the universe is poking you with a big celestial stick, pointing you towards some proper heavy stuff. Pull up your knickers, grab a cuppa and have a natter with someone who doesn’t think you’re a complete muppet. Your knickers are in a twist and you’re more jittery than a squirrel on Red Bull, and that’s ’cause you’re tiptoeing into the unknown like a vegan at a barbecue. Oh, and don’t you just love it when life feels like a never-ending episode of ‘Fawlty Towers’? Now, your lucky charm this week is a rubber duck. I know, sounds daft, but apparently, it’s meant to bring good luck and who couldn’t use a bit of that, eh? Plus, next time your plans go tits up, you can just blame the bloody duck!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!